Outfit posts are strangely addictive aren’t they. Firstly, I apologise for this sudden spate of narcissistic behaviour. Secondly, I feel bereft that I haven’t managed to put on a single item bought in a charity shop. I feel like a fraud. Obviously this detail could have gone entirely unnoticed, had I not been so up myself recently that I keep writing outfit posts!
For about a week now I have been attempting to wear my ‘bingo tights’. These fantastic creations are white tights with multi-coloured bingo balls all over them. They are outrageous! Unfortunately, I can’t find anything that contrasts them in a vulgar enough manner. After exhausting all my options this morning, I have decided that a red mini skirt is my only recourse, and all that remains now is to buy one, hopefully from a charity shop.
After arriving at this conclusion, I was swiftly greeted with the further predicament of what I was going to wear to work today, having only got as far as a grey Monsoon dress bought in the sale last winter for £20 and with partial payment of a £10 gift card. This dress can have the unfortunate side effect of making me look like a school girl, and not in a cool St Trinians kind of way either, which would just about be acceptable.
Allow me to apologise for the state of my face and hair, but it is 8 hours since I applied my make-up, and put my hair into what started out as a ‘messy bun’, yet now looks like it was deeply affected by hurricane Katrina and is still awaiting the clean-up operation. Someone also pointed out a few weeks ago when I last sported this ‘hair-style’ (if you can go so far as to call it that) that I appear to have a receding hair line. This was followed by guffaws of other participants of the conversation, one person interjecting with “You can’t say that!” as if it is somehow less rude to not notify someone when they appear to be follically challenged. Thankfully I am already aware of this bald patch problem, and it is the unfortunate side effect of dying your hair darker than your natural colour. This leaves blonde wispy bits growing through, and therefore I appear to be suffering from some form of male-pattern baldness. In truth, I hadn’t realised just how obvious it was. Now, I always pull some fringe across to disguise it and kirby it in place. It is temporary until I decide I can be bothered to dye my hair once again.
To begin with I thought that my lower legs will need spicing up a bit, so I picked out some plaid patterned tights. While this took me 10% of the way toward my desired effect, they didn’t quite cut it on their own. I figured that a little bit of leopard print couldn’t hurt, and so I risked death to extract my Dune pony skin court shoes from the middle of my shoe stack. These were 40% off in the sale, so although I haven’t worn anything second hand today, I haven’t paid full price either, and I reckon this ethos still fits snugly under my Blog’s title. Lastly, I popped on my cherry necklace, also a sale purchase but I can’t remember where from. I blame Katy Perry for my brief dalliance with fruit related jewellery. This dress is now a little big for me so I went for a brown belt to pull it in at the waist. This is simply because it lay at my feet whilst I got dressed after previously being tossed asunder in a fit of rage for a crime that I can’t quite remember. But it almost certainly will have deserved it.