This isn’t strictly true, in fact it’s a massive lie. I want it to look naked, but still beautiful, and lets face it (geddit it?! Sorry…) nakedness and beauty don’t go hand in hand unless you’re a Hollywood actress with a $3000 lighting set up on a Vogue photo shoot. Sadly, I have none of these things.
I have become a little infatuated with nude make up. Let me tell you a story. Back in secondary school, as girls, we all began our flirtation with make-up fairly innocently, a little mascara here and a lot of concealer there… This flirtation developed into a more intense and long-standing crush with the addition of foundation and lip gloss (the enemy of wind-blown hair and kissing as separate entities, but when combined, the effects are tragic). The advent of blusher, coloured eyeshadow and the scouse brow meant that the crush evolved into marriage with 3 kids and a 25 year mortgage. Never again would one go out of the house without, at the very least, spending 10 minutes adding tinted moisturiser, mascara and a dab of bronzer on the cheeks even though you were only popping to the corner shop for toilet roll and you were utterly desperate for a wee – taking a packet of Thirst Pockets into the loo with you is deplorable.
I used to know a girl at school that skillfully applied all of the above on a daily basis, and of course she looked gorgeous, all the time. It was like attending classes with the front page of Seventeen. But then, she would hit a snag. A night out, a school dance… what would she need to do to look even better than she did normally? Well, the only answer to this simple mathematical equation is, of course, to apply extra. More colour on the eyes, another layer of mascara (you know, just to be sure), a slick of liquid eyeliner… Unfortunately, and no mathematician could have forecast this, she would not look better. She would look like she had been punched in the face by Barry M. Twice.
So my friends, 10 years of careful navigation of the Boots make-up counters has taught me that when you apply your daily face, you need to leave room for improvement. Yes you want to look good every day, but you need to leave room for looking better when it counts.
Nude make-up is the future. This season’s catwalk collections had ‘fresh faced’ models gracing the catwalks for almost every single designer. As I am fast approaching 26, which ES helpfully pointed out now means that I am woefully far away from being a ‘young driver’ statistic, I need some help with fresh faced.
I am blessed with full lips, something I eventually became extremely thankful for. For years I felt that applying any sort of colour to them made them seem like Nazi Germany and the rest of my face became late 1930’s Europe i.e. they took over and rather rudely refused to give it back. However, pale lipsticks did me no favours either, making me look washed out and nothing like the mirror image of Eva Longaria as I had hoped.
However, today I bring you a revelation, a matte nude lipstick that smells of toffee, to the point where it actually takes some willpower not to chew on it, and doesn’t make me look like a dead person.
I know that this beauty stuff isn’t my normal vocation but no one should ever buy second hand make-up ‘cos it’s yukky. Nevertheless, this extravagant purchase of a £9 lipstick can be justified by the fact that I just saved around £32 on a Next dress because I bought it from a charity shop. Imagine Morven passing lipsticks over for me to test and me, in return, asking her the question “Do we like it? … OK …. but do we £9 like it?” Her enthusiastic response of “Yes! We £9 like it!!!” compared with the scrunched up face she pulled when I tried Loreal’s offering convinced me that this was the one for me. She was right. We £9 LOVE IT!